Chevron Seven Encoded

Hey look. This still exists!

2011-12-17T23:12:00.000-08:00

Guys! Guys! Guysguysguysguys! A blog! Look! I should make a post!
...
...
Er, entry? Is that a thing? Apparently that's the term. And if it's not, it is now. :)

Aaaaaanyway. I has a happy. Yup yup yup. And, let's face it. The only people who read this thing are the people who I'm friends with on facebook. And if you're reading this and you haven't figured out why I'z happy yet, pay more attention to facebook.
So yeah.
Happy.
Nuff said.

Later Days
-B.

Marrymake it with me

2011-10-10T09:21:00.001-07:00

New Republic Tigers EP. Again, it's a case of "how the hell did I not know about this?!" But that's not the reason why I'm posting.
Wednesday night was D&D night with Grace and Nathan and Garrett and... Katie. Grace's friend from work who lives down in Tacoma. She's fun. That's really what it boils down to. She's also the first person i've met up here whom I've hit it off instantly with. And this is also the first time my brain has had to shift back into /that/ gear in a while. Eyes and mind and heart open, yeah? Let's see where this goes.
Later days- B

Bored

2011-09-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

Bored. In case you couldn't tell...

Hi!

So I'd be playing Need for Speed Shift right now, except my laptop's shite. And I'd be playing Lord of the Rings Online right now, except my laptop's shite. And I'd be playing... Sorry. But you get my point.

And admittedly I'd like to make a vlog, but filming whilst people are home with you is just a bit awkward. At least in my book. So I'll hold off on that for a bit. Instead, BLOG!

More news. I'm moved in. Ish. Issaquah's nice, if a bit "Wisteria Lane" status. It's eerie nice up here. I suppose that's why everyone says "ooooooh, Issaquah" when I tell them where I live.

Okay, so I started writing this last night before I discovered that I got an invite to apple's hiring event thing :) Which, honestly, is like the best thing ever. Tl;dr not so much bored anymore.

In other news, Starfox 64 3D comes out today. Gonna go pick that up on mah lunch break.

I really want to preorder The Old Republic. REALLY WANT. But knowing that my lappy is shite I can't honestly expect to do it any justice. We'll see.

Anyway, gotta go get ready for work.

Later days
-B

Moving

2011-08-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

As of Friday, August 12th, I will not longer be a resident of the Antelope Valley. That's right, ladies and gentlemen; I'm moving.
Some of you have already been brought up to speed on this, others still have heard all the relevant rants. Most, however, are hearing this now for the first time. So, for those of you who are curious, here's a quick recap of the facts

1. YES, I'M MOVING (Caps lock for emphasis)
2. To; Issaquah, a community about 30 miles east of Seattle, WA. Think L.A. and its surrounding cities and you get the concept.
3. Blogger does not like the city name "Issaquah..." Just thought I'd point that out.
4. Yes, I'm going with my parents. They lived up there for about fours years 25 years ago.
5. My father will be getting a transfer (hopefully, we still don't know yet) to the FAA regional safety office thing.
6. I'm currently waiting on news from Lowe's of Issaquah on whether or not they'll have me as a part time Tool World worker person.
7. We're going to be living in a 3b 2b apartment that's just been finished, so we're gonna be the first tenants. (Indoor swimming pool ftw! :D)
7. Yes, Shaina and I split up. Yes, still love her, no, I'm not happy with the decisions I've had to make, and no, I don't want to talk about it .
For those of you who linked here from facebook, read old posts at your own peril. Those were (mostly) from years ago and some are filled with angst. Others are Dr. Who rants. You have been warned.

Anyway, more updates to follow as things progress.

Later Days
-B

Love as a construct

2011-07-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Call it cliche, but I wonder just what love is. An emotional response, sure. But truly, what is it on a deeper level? A chemical response in the brain? An artificial response by our subconscious to that chemical response? An unconscious construct created to explain rash decisions based on a need to breed?
And the things said during the construct phase. Can they truly be trusted? These are not rational words from a sane mind. These are the words of a mind barely able to perceive the world around it.
Maybe I'm jaded. Maybe I'm naive. A fool? Probably. And now it hurts. And it's still the same hurt.
I don't fall in love easily, I don't make such decisions quickly. Why, then, does it still never work? Am I thinking too much? Or am i too afraid? To trust my partner. Or to trust myself? No, there's nobody who can answer these questions. Still though, i don't think I'm the only one who's confused.

Later days
-B

Bigger than my apathy

2011-05-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

Rip the earth in two with your mind
Seal the urge which ensues with brass wires
I never meant you any harm
But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearm

But close my eyes for a while
Force from the world a patient smile

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?
Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms
The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home
If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

But I gave you all
I gave you all, I gave you all

Close my eyes for a while
Force from the world a patient smile

But I gave you all
I gave you all, I gave you all

And you rip it from my hands
And you swear it's all gone
And you rip out all I have
Just to say that you've won

And you rip it from my hands
And you swear it's all gone
And you rip out all I have
Just to say that you've won, you've won
Well, now you've won

But I gave you all
I gave you all, I gave you all

I Gave You All - Mumford and Sons

Things fall apart. I get that. Hell, I read a book about such a concept in junior year. But it still sucks. Not gonna lie. The parents are on a fast track to divorce. School is made difficult due to inconsistent lack of Internet. School is challenging to begin with. And now comes the slow, gradual degradation of my relationship. And it sucks.

There goes the neighborhood. And my sanity. Bring popcorn... this should be good.

You're the Pretender

2010-12-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

'S been a while since I've done this... posting thing. 'S also been a while since I've decided to let the music speak for me.

"Pretender" Foo Fighters

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began

Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones go marching in... again
The need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are at the ready
Are you ready?

I'm finished making sense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole defense
Spinning infinity, but
The wheel is spinning me
It's never ending, never ending
Same old story

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one.
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one.
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

In time or so I'm told
I'm just another soul for sale... oh, well
The page is out of print
We are not permanent
We're temporary, temporary
Same old story

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one.
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one.
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

I'm the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I'm the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right
I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your knees

So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another.
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one.
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I'm not just another one.
(You know they all... pretend)
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I'm not just another one.
(You know they all... pretend)
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

I'm not exactly sure why I decided that it'd be okay for me to think that everything would be alright from here on out. I thought that the promise of moving out, of having a life, of getting a job doing what I love would protect me from at least the crap that would get thrown my way at home.

I was wrong.

So wrong, and I see that happy and content are just things that I can't have right now.

Later Days
-B

SG-1, you have a go

2010-10-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

I've been watching too much Stargate recently. Seriously. It's become bad to the point of I'm actually debating gate physics with myself. I might put said debates up on here tomorrow or something. Today; no. Too much to do today.

So far; Polysci cram
Polysci test
Lunch with Shaina
Accompanying Shaina on her job-hunting excursion
While doing math homework
More math homework
Home for snackage
On to more math homework

Right.

Got a new phone 'cos my old one fell out on X2. My fault. Entirely. But my new one was only 30 bucks and it slides and has a phone and... Bluetooth. 'Cos that's necessary. But whatever. It's wicked fast compared to my old one. And it slides. Did I mention that?

Anyway, in honor of my watching too much Stargate, you've probly noticed my layout's changed. Huzzah!

Right then. Homework. AWAY!!!!

Later days
-B

Yeah, sure. Okay. Fine

2010-10-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

Seems I'm gonna be stuck here for what could potentially be another year. That's.... excellent. >.> Right. That's the word for it.

Magic Mountain on friday hopefully. It'll be the first time in a while that I'll get to spend an entire day with Shaina.

Losing hours at work. Only getting about 24 a paycheck. Which isn't bad, I suppose. It's a job.

Kinda bored....
Later Days
-B

Well, it's about time.

2010-07-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

Or;
A shotgun, the Zerg, and you.

Two words; Starcraft II (<- okay, it's a numeral, but it works all the same.)
I can't remember the last time I preordered a game. If memory serves... Never. That's just how much I wanted this game. Enough to shell out 65 bucks just so I could have a decent single player campaign and mind-blowing multiplayer. And the new Battle.net? Ahh... (Refreshing, if you didn't get that). But I'll get to that in a sec.

If, heaven forbid, you are reading this with no inkling of what I speak, allow me to enlighten you. If you've played SCI, go ahead and skip down to... Down there. I'll let you know when to stop skipping.
To sum it up nicely, humankind has a knack for getting themselves caught up in the biggest, most brutal galactic wars this side of Alderaan (See what I did there?). And this war is no exception. Three races, the Terrans (clever name for humans... psh) the Protoss ( a psi-wielding cybermen-ish race) and the Zerg (the nastiest bug infection you've ever seen) have all decided that they don't like any of their fellows, and have picked a small sector of the galaxy to wage total war. And since I myself never really played the single player mode of part 1 of what is becoming quite the franchise, I won't try to regurgitate the already regurgitated backstory that was fed to me during the installer.
Which, by the way Blizzard, didn't last nearly long enough. I ended up sitting there for a good half an hour listening to the soundtrack. Which, from what I can tell when things are calm enough for me to pay attention to the music, is quite good. Just though I'd point that out.
Anyway, the game itself is a continuation of what many people have called the definition of a RTS (Real-time-strategy) game. I have to agree. You are the mastermind behind what will eventually amount to an army (hopefully) by the end of any given match. You build, organize and deploy units in a frantic attempt to blow the living snot out of your opponent before he gets a chance to do the same. It's chaotic, ridiculous and downright amazing

Veterans, you can resume reading here.

You can buy this game, if you like, solely for the single player mode, but don't think that gets you out of taking your escapades online. The new Battle.Net (the latest version of what the old system used for its multiplayer hosting, and what is now Blizzard entertainment's main hub for what they like to call "social network gaming") is fully integrated into the game. That means that when you unlock achievements in the single player campaign, the whole world, should they care to go find out, can read about it in seconds. Battle.Net keeps track of kills, deaths, units produced and lost, resources gained and spent, and just about anything possibly relevant to the game that you could think of (and some that isn't). And apparently, if you've had your life eaten by World of Warcraft (WoW) you can chat with your guildies online whilst rushing with copious amounts of Zerglings. And isn't that just special?

The three races have been balance out a bit more than they were in the old game (though I have developed a certain fondness for the Protoss and their Void Rays), and there are enough new units and abilities to keep each and every unit from reaching obsolescence. Except for the Terran SCV's. Other than for building things, those guys are useless in a fight...

The maps are well built, and there's enough variety that people shouldn't get bored before the first real patch/expansion.

All and all, I'd give it a 9.5/10

Later Days
-B

Home is the sailor, home from the sea

2010-07-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

And surprisingly, he's rather well rested. Considering that I walked upwards of 2.5 hundred thousand steps over the course of three weeks. It was good, and considering I'm still processing and unpacking and moving photos and figuring out just what I've missed, I'll write more about it all later.
For now, I write about Doctor Who. I'm totally psyched that they're bringing back Rory and Amelia (Not Amy. Amelia is such a better name.) The fact that they're attempting the whole "two-companion" thing again is a bit of... well, it's a throwback, I think, to some earlier doctors, but it seems that Mr. Moffat pulled it off splendidly. Part of me still wants to know who River Song is, but the other half of me really doesn't care because said part really does not like her. *Shrugs* Time will tell, I suppose. I will say this, though; the Tardis/Pandoricum explosion was such a loophole. All they did was spend an entire season saying "we don't want to have to deal with everything that's happened already, so we're gonna reboot the universe." The Doctor even said "reboot." RE BOOT. Such a cop-out. But as I said. Time will tell.
I've found that it's becoming increasingly harder for me to live in the moment. Granted, I've always had a concentration issue, but now that I have a job and a life, one is constantly overpowering the other. I'll let you figure out which that is... One could call me a dreamer; I say that over-romanticizes it a bit. I'd call myself a "grand-scheme-of-things" kind of person. I like to sit back and look at the big picture. I suppose it's a leadership quality. I say it's a nice distraction.
Now then, news that's slightly more down to earth. Bought a new DSi, but you already knew that. What I suppose you don't know is that I've caught nearly all of the Legendaries on my new Pokemon. Not really something to be proud of, but it makes my inner nerd happy.
Ummm... Time to go play Allods.
Later Days
-B

Meet Harvey

2010-06-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Imagine my surprise when I log onto my blog today and find new... Okay, can I just say that it's really odd that this thing is giving me a little squiggly "you spelled this wrong" line underneath the word blog? ...Anyway, I found new tools today. Naturally, I had to go and play with them, and this is what resulted. Pretty spiffy, huh?

Like I said, meet Harvey. > Over there. No... up a bit... there. Right there. Now click... And again... You may feed him if you wish. I don't think he'll get fat. And even if he does, you can just click on the little yellow bit of his wheel to get him running.

So during the redesign of all of this, I decided to investigate just how much of my harddrive is devoted to wallpapers. Here's the breakdown;

Avatar (Last Airbender); 5
Cars (that aren't Top Gear); 9
Colors; 11
Comics; 8
Doctor Who; 50
House M.D.; 16
Landscapes; 33
Minimalist; 61
Miscellaneous; 115
Music; 49
Ninjas; 7
Nintendo; 69
Other Video Games; 38
Pokemon; 6
Science; 6
Stargate; 11
Speed Racer (Not sure why I still have these...); 5
Star Trek; 17
Star Wars; 62
Swirly Photoshop Goodness; 52
Top Gear; 59

All and all, 21 folders and 689 individual files... 275 MB in all. Kind of impressive, if I may say so.

Oh, right. Life update. Vacation starts on monday. Still not sure if I'm going to Top Gear or not. I requested the tickets, so I'll know by Sunday. Which doesn't give them much time, but at this point I'll be surprised if I hear from them at all.

Went to Six Flags on Wednesday with Shaina. Most amazing day I've had in a good long time.

Um.... Summer Break? I bought a new DSi?... Other than that, not much has happened.

...

Right...

Later Days,
-B

Sun in the Winter

2010-04-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

It's a weird feeling. It's like the light isn't quite reaching you, and the heat is there, but it's not nearly enough. Nearly everything casts a shadow, and all of those shadows are longer and darker than you'd expect. The light is bright, but you can't see anything.

Is this what maturing means? Becoming jaded to everything, viewing the world through a pessimism filter? Because if that's what everything comes to, I don't want it. Let me stay young and stupid. It's more fun that way.

I need to vent at someone. And not just have the steam bounce off. Because, let's face it, typing everything out into the void that is the internet just doesn't cut it. And internalizing things with copious amounts of bass-poundy trance music only goes so far...
I used to have someone like that. Such moments have become few and far between. Pity.

In other news, my most recent musical acquisition has been 4.9 hours of trance, courtesy of A State of Trance 2010. Armin Van Buuren is amazing at what he does.
Thaaaaat's about it.

Later Days
-B

Press "X" to bring up the targeting computer

2010-04-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

In all of the Rogue Squadron games for the N64/Gamecube, there's been a targeting computer. If you so choose to use said computer, it'll bring up an overview, displaying the landscape in slightly muted colors, baddies in yellow, and mission-critical baddies in orange. This was lovely, because it allowed the player to focus on his targets and use just enough awareness to make sure he didn't fly into that mountain. Sometimes, I didn't even devote that much awareness. (My X-Wing liked mountains, for your information.)

That level of uniform visual display was heaven for me. Why, you ask? Because I'm partially color blind.
And yeah, I know that most of you reading this probably already know that, but I feel like ranting. Don't judge.

Anyways...
It's not complete color blindness. It's more of color-challenged. I can't distinguish blue and purple all that well, and some reds, greens, and browns tend to meld together. And don't even try to throw varying shades of a color at me.

It's not that bad, really. I've learned how to get by. Just like now, when I had to hover the mouse over the color to have the computer tell me what color it was. Or when I would read the labels on the sides of the crayons and colored pencils.

However, the thing that's always irked me is the ignorance of other people. I can't tall you how many times I've been asked "So, what does [enter color here] look like to you?" Well gee, genius. What does it look like to you? People can't begin to fathom that their world perhaps isn't the only world, that their reality isn't perhaps how everyone else views the world. This is why I've always wanted to plug into someone else's eyes, just for a day. Just so I can see what it is that makes people so oblivious.

Later Days,
-B

I am...

2010-03-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

Between thunder's clap and lightning's flash, my thoughts whisper. I store my things in the space between the nucleus of an atom and its electrons. I'm like the tail on a Q; you're not really sure why I'm there, but without me, you'd have something completely different.

I have got to stop playing The World Ends With You right before bedtime. All of that philosophical stuff makes my brain twitch.

Ah, but in all seriousness, that's really how I've come to view myself. I'm like the after-market mod you get for your computer. Yes, it runs fine without me, but I'm more of an afterthought to optimize performance and whatnot. Eh, fine. One must know one's place and all that.
Speaking of which, Rainmeter is basically useless. It does nothing, and it gets reaaaaally angry if you try to do anything to it.

Um... That's about it today.

Later Days
-B

Who are we?

2010-03-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

Who are we, really?

Reflections of those around us?

We, as individuals, don't exist. At least, not in the sense that everybody believes. We are our own person, but only as we see ourselves through the eyes of others. We are molded, shaped, controlled by outside pressure. The influence of others is a powerful thing. People don't think, don't change, without someone else telling them what to do, what to believe. People don't come to their own conclusions until they ask the opinions of others.

We are at our purest when we are alone. We construct shields to protect ourselves from outside interference, but every time we venture outside, we clash, chipping away at those shields until the influence seeps in, like a poison.It leaks into the cracks, pooling in our subconscious, dripping, dripping, dripping, until we cannot stand the sound anymore, and we let the flood in. It drowns us, sweeping away everything that was, until we construct channels and gates to control it. We're forced to redirect the outside influence, but it's still there, flowing through our minds like a corrupt river, our gates and channels only barely able to stay afloat in our own minds.

It's been a long few days.

Friday was awesome, don't get me wrong. But my emotions have decided to start playing "what if?" with my mind. My dreams are all scenarios of what could be if I do this, and what if we this... Most of them are romantic scenarios, which bugs the crap out of me. I'm worried about the condition of my not-even-yet employment at Lowe's; I think I'll call over there tomorrow before class.

SG-1; my new obsession. Granted, McKay is still my favorite out of all of them, but I think I could grow to like Daniel Jackson. And Teal'C is just badass.

Anyway, I think dinner's almost done.

Later Days
-B

P.S. I think this is the longest thing I've actually written in a while that wasn't just lyrics.

You ever...

2010-03-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

Sit in your car at an intersection that experiences little or no traffic just so you can watch the sunset?
Refuse to turn off your car just because there's a song on the radio that you like?
Sit next to someone just because they smell good?
Or because you simply enjoy the company of that person?
Watch the horizon sink away from the deck of a ship?

I have.
You should give it a shot.

It's interesting. I've stopped feeling the urge to lead. To be at the top of the food chain. I think I noticed it for the first time the other day in jazz band. We were playing a song that has a repeated solo section. We didn't move on until everybody had had a chance to play. Most people were chomping at the bit to play; I had to be persuaded to play. It was odd...

My thinking is that it's due to the fact that I've entered a new world, I have to relearn the ropes of everything. I've realized that I'm content to sit back and become my best before I become the best. Or maybe my desire to lead was satiated, at least for the time, by drum majoring.

It's at least something to thing about.

Later Days
-B

Press A+B+START+SELECT to restart your game

2010-02-23T20:29:00.000-08:00

Engh... I'd post, but today was just too much. I'll put something witty and in-depth tomorrow.
Later Days
-B

Press A to accelerate

2010-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

This one actually makes sense this time. At least, if you've ever played a Mario Kart game. Or any racing game that didn't use the right trigger as the throttle, really.

To explain the not-so-much-of-a-quicktime-event, something wonderful occurred to me on the way home from class. It's been two weeks since I've last filled up and I'm only down a quarter tank of gas! Hurrah! And this is with a random trip to bowling and Chili's.

...

Maybe trying to update daily wasn't such a hot idea. I've got nothing to talk about, other than I'm trying to get iTunes to put the Genius mixes on my Nano but it's being all "needs-to-be-set-to-auto-updates" and I'm all "not-after-the-crap-you-pulled-a-few-years-ago" (details upon request).

Something needs to go horribly wrong. Call me paranoid, but when things go okay for weeks on end like this, all it means for me is that something's about to go horribly wrong. If you'd like further explanation, listen to the
collaboration by Santana and Eagle Eye Cherry entitled Wishing it Was. Good song, that.

Anyway, I'm gonna go back to reading my latest webcomic discovery.

Later Days
-B

Press Start to throw belated confetti

2010-02-21T22:21:00.000-08:00

Yeah, my fiftieth post was last time. I was too busy nerdraging to notice. I'm also not sure whether to be proud or vaguely disgusted with myself. I'll go with proud.

Not a whole hell of a lot to talk about right now. I've found various webcomics to keep me slightly entertained. Also, I'm currently in the habit of having iTunes make a genius playlist based on my latest free single and seeing what it manages to find in my library that I'd forgotten that I'd downloaded. It's rather fun, actually.
At the moment, we have;
Eighty Steps Away - The Good Listeners; not Indie per se, but it's catchy and reaaaaaally good to meditate to. (No, I don't really meditate, but you get my point)
Oscar Wilde- Company of Thieves; Listed on iTunes as alternative, and this is the first time I have to agree. Good to listen to, even better to actually pay attention to.

Turns out that Top Gear tickets are becoming even fainter as the days roll by. The sheer logistics of getting from Central London to a sleepy little airstrip outside Surrey are immense. Coupled with the fact that we kinda need to figure out what we're doing whilst in London and they've not yet released the filming dates yet says to me "Come back next time you're across the pond."

My latest fascination; You know all of those movie chases with motorcycles? Keep those images in your mind... Now replace them with dump trucks...
Filled with napalm...
...
... I know, right?

And now, to end things, I present to you "Conversations at 10"
Brendan says;
"reading webcomics and rocking out to the SSBB soundtrack... feeling so nerdy right now, but I realllly don't care
Smity says:
Noice
Brendan says:
if you're in a Delorean traveling faster than the speed of light, and the killers come on the radio, do they still suck?
Smity says:
Not if killers fall under the same physical laws as rap
But since Deloreans don't travel faster then the speed of light, the killers will always suck
Brendan says:
good answer"

Later Days
-B

Press X to not nerdrage

2010-02-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

I'm very proud of my Super Smash Bros Melee save file. All single player modes completed with every character. Every achieve unlocked. Nearly every trophy except the one you can only get with a completed Pikmin save file on the same memory card.

OVER 700 HOURS OF GAMEPLAY
...

...
And it's gone and corrupted itself.
...

...
The entire memory card is on the fritz. Which means I also lose;
my Mario Sunshine files (77 Shine Sprites... not a huge accomplishment, but some of those levels are annoying),
my MKDD file (All cups gold, every CC)
my SSX On Tour file (two profiles 100% complete)
my Completed Star Wars; Rogue Squadron 2 and 3 files
my 100% Lego Star Wars 2 ( Do you know how hard the Super Story is to complete solo?)
my 100 % complete Mario DDR file
and other assorted files and such. Need for Speed, Super Monkey Ball 2...
I'm hoping it's maybe just the mem. card reader on the Cube is broken, and that I can still play all of this on the Wii.

I know there's more important things I should be worried about, but still...

It's like my childhood's gone.

Later Days
-B

It's about the voyage

2010-02-15T19:46:00.000-08:00

Less so much than the destination.

This is an internal monologue I had the other week whilst at the park;
I love traveling. But not for the reasons you'd think.
The destination; that's cool. I mean, it's the reason for the traveling, right?
All of the careful planning, the itineraries, the packing, the repacking, the tearing-of-the-hair when you get to the airport only to realize that you're half a pound over your weight limit. That's fun.
The journey itself is an adventure, because so very, very much can go wrong (and trust me, it has), but when you're able to roll with the waves like a piece of driftwood, everything's more fun.
It's the inbetweens, though, that intrigue me.
Scenario; you're at the airport (train station/bus stop/dock), and you've decided to actually get there on time for once, so now you have an hour and a half before you even need to contemplate boarding your plane. So what do you do? You people watch. This is an activity that should be an Olympic sport, really.
The best part of it all is to just sit back and observe, and try to tune yourself into the flow of people. There's currents in such hubs of activity. People interacting, intersecting. They clash, collide, and yet still manage to go about their day, completely oblivious of each other.
There's the;

"Family-with-2.5-kids"
They've never flown with the midgets, and now mum and dad are really regretting taking that family vacation this early. The parents are frazzled, but the kids don't notice because this is all so very new, exciting, and they have so many chances to eat McDonald's in the airport.

"Newlyweds-that-have-eyes-for-only-each-other"
The love birds that are completely ignorant of the world, because they've just been married and their sex drives are currently going off the charts, so much so that when his wallet gets lifted or her purse is cleverly snatched, neither notices.

"Frazzled-Businessperson"
And my, are there a lot of them. They've become so jaded that they stop paying attention to the flow of people around them. They don't stop to feel the energy of the crowd.

Allow me to interrupt myself here for something; the flow. The flow of the crowds, of the planes, of the people. Flights are leaving, arriving, people are boarding, deplaning (It's a word. I know, right?), luggage is being claimed, luggage is being lost. Cars arriving, buses idling. Lovers are reuniting, families are separating, friends waving good-bye. It's all so chaotic and yet so very predicable.

Anyway, back to it.

"First-time-flyers"
These are my particular favorite. They've no idea what's going on, but they're so very intrigued by it. This one's also very fun to sit next to during flight. Especially during takeoff. And landing. Either way, they're crapping bricks.

And finally, "The-seasoned-traveler"
Such as myself, this is the person who wears the kind of slip-on shoes that are easy to take off for the security checkpoints, and has already emptied their pockets into their carry-on close to 15 minutes ago. Their carry-on is light, easy to maneuver, and best of all, fits underneath the seat in front of them.
They've traveled extensively, but are still intrigued by it all.

*Exhales*Okay, I think there's more, but Top Gear's on in a few, so I don't want to get into any more.

Later Days
-B

Hullo thar

2010-02-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

I rather like my new layout. I was going for something darker, more mysterious...
<_<
>_>

Anyway, I suppose that since I changed it, I should start posting again, since my last entry was well over a month ago.

Now, this would be sound logic... If I was sure that people were actually reading the vague notions and thoughts that are created by this thing I have in my head they call a mind. So if you're out there, sound off.

If you're not, then I suppose I'm one of the last few. That's cool.

Now then, I've decided that I'm gonna stay away from the emo angst-rants that used to be my(and a disturbingly large amount of people's) norm. So for the time being, I'm gonna go with...;

TRIP WATCH 2010

I'm sure most of you couldn't care less (<-- Using the phrase properly). But I'm psyched, and therefore going to talk about it.

For those that have not been clued in, here's the deal; Mid June, Norwegian Cruise Lines will be launching the Epic . This is a ship that is larger than Royal Caribbean's Freedom ships, but smaller than the recently launched Oasis of the Seas.
My reason for telling you this is thus; I'm going to be on that ship's (The Epic) transatlantic crossing/reposition cruise from London to New York. From there on, it's heading down to Florida to sail out of Fort Lauderdale or somewhere thereabouts. The current plan is thus; fly to N.Y., spend approximately 1-3 days there, then fly to Iceland (because Iceland Air lets you stop there for free of you're headed elsewhere) and then to London(where we're spending 6 nights), where we will board the Epic for N.Y. Then it's a short flight back home.

Yes, it will be amazing. Yes, it will be expensive. Yes, I am planning on emptying out about half of my iPod so I can use it as a camcorder.

More details as they present themselves.

Later Days
-B

Shouldn't be...

2009-12-08T19:00:00.000-08:00

...so very happy about this, but I am.

Went to go visit the band today after I owned that Rock History final in the face. Only talked to a few people, but from what I could glean, they're not doing so well this year.
Okay yes, on principle, this is bad.
But somehow, I can't help but feel really vindicated by it. I did what I was told to do last year, and we won. A lot.
This year, everything was done all backward, and the leadership isn't totally faultless in this. As a result, they haven't fully realized their potential. So yes, I do feel rather vindicated.
If you want more details, lemme know.

Later days
-B

Thick

2009-12-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

Really don't mind if you sit this one out.
My words but a whisper -- your deafness a SHOUT.
I may make you feel but I can't make you think.
Your sperm's in the gutter -- your love's in the sink.
So you ride yourselves over the fields and
you make all your animal deals and
your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.
And the sand-castle virtues are all swept away in
the tidal destruction
the moral melee.
The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers
the newfangled way.
But your new shoes are worn at the heels and
your suntan does rapidly peel and
your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick.

And the love that I feel is so far away:
I'm a bad dream that I just had today -- and you
shake your head and
say it's a shame.

Spin me back down the years and the days of my youth.
Draw the lace and black curtains and shut out the whole truth.
Spin me down the long ages: let them sing the song.

See there! A son is born -- and we pronounce him fit to fight.
There are black-heads on his shoulders, and he pees himself in the night.
We'll
make a man of him
put him to trade
teach him
to play Monopoly not
to sing in the rain.

The Poet and the painter casting shadows on the water --
as the sun plays on the infantry returning from the sea.
The do-er and the thinker: no allowance for the other --
as the failing light illuminates the mercenary's creed.
The home fire burning: the kettle almost boiling --
but the master of the house is far away.
The horses standing -- their warm breath clouding
in the sharp and frosty morning of the day.
And the poet lifts his pen while the soldier sheaths his sword.

And the youngest of the family is moving with authority.
Building castles by the sea, he dares the tardy tide to wash them all aside.

The cattle quietly grazing at the grass down by the river
where the swelling mountain water moves onward to the sea:
the builder of the castles renews the age-old purpose
and contemplates the milking girl whose offer is his need.
The young men of the household have
all gone into service and
are not to be expected for a year.
The innocent young master -- thoughts moving ever faster --
has formed the plan to change the man he sees.
And the poet sheaths his pen while the soldier lifts his sword.

And the oldest of the family is moving with authority.
A-coming from across the sea, he challenges the son who puts him to the run.

What do you do when
the old man's gone -- do you want to be him? And
your real self sings the song.
Do you want to free him?
No one to help you get up steam --
and the whirlpool turns you `way off-beam.

I've come down from the upper class to mend your rotten ways.
My father was a man-of-power whom everyone obeyed.
So come on all you criminals!
I've got to put you straight just like I did with my old man --
twenty years too late.
Your bread and water's going cold.
Your hair is too short and neat.
I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no-one judges me.

You curl your toes in fun as you smile at everyone.
You meet the stares; you're unaware that your doings aren't done.
And you laugh most ruthlessly as you tell us what not to be.
But how are we supposed to see where we should run?
I see you shuffle in the courtroom with
your rings upon your fingers and
your downy little sidies and
your silver-buckle shoes.
Playing at the hard case, you follow the example of the comic-paper idol
who lets you bend the rules.

So!
Come on ye childhood heroes!
Won't you rise up from the pages of your comic-books,
your super crooks
and show us all the way.
Well! Make your will and testament.
Won't you join your local government?
We'll have Superman for president
let Robin save the day.

You put your bet on number one and it comes up every time.
The other kids have all backed down and they put you first in line.
And so you finally ask yourself just how big you are --
and take your place in a wiser world of bigger motor cars.
And you wonder who to call on.

So! Where the hell was Biggles when you needed him last Saturday?
And where were all the sportsmen who always pulled you though?
They're all resting down in Cornwall --
writing up their memoirs for a paper-back edition
of the Boy Scout Manual.
"Thick as a Brick, part 1" - Jethro Tull

It's a long song, I know. But it's amazing.

One more week, and then semester one is over. One down, three to go. Oh well. *sigh* At least I won't have to go to History of Rock and Roll anymore. It's not as much fun as you'd think.

Relevance of song, you ask? Well, there's actually very little for this one. I just like the song.

But I suppose that if you're looking for something deep, or the results of a soul-search, I suppose I can indulge.
*Ahem*

I've noticed, in the past few days, that I seem to be the one that everyone turns to last. I'm the fall guy, the last resort. Yet however, I seem to be the first one that people come to with their issues.
It's not that I'm terribly peeved by it. More of grudgingly accepting. I suppose I've brought it upon myself, but the real question is; who do I turn to with my crap?

Later Days
-B

Phrases that Confuse Me; Part 1 "I could care less."

2009-11-18T21:02:00.000-08:00

This is an interesting phrase, and I shall demonstrate why using math.

Let us assume that the level of care is represented by the function f(x)= c^2, where 'c' is an arbitrary value representing care and [0 < c]. By the definition of the phrase, "I could care less," it can be interpreted that there will always be a value smaller than the given c such that [0 < c(current) < c(given)].
Now then, the phrase, now called "P", can be replaced with the limit of the function, c^2, as c goes to zero. Society's current understanding of this problem is that the limit as c goes to 0 does not exist, and that a level of non-care cannot be reached. However, by one of the most basic principles of limits (direct substitution), the limit as c approaches 0 is 0. Therefore, it is possible to care so little that one does not care at all.

/me feels clever.
Later Days
-B

Trying something new

2009-10-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

Cold wind blows
across the early morning sands
like frosted sandpaper
on a fresh-cut plank

harsh strokes stripping
the weather-worn coating
of thought and ideas
causing confusion and distress

It creates clouds
of fine dust
caught in the winds
exposing the soft, malleable wood beneath

Ready to be shaped
and molded into
the artist's idea
of perfection

You know, sand storms in the AV have an almost poetic quality to them. High winds yesterday brought with them the cold again. Hopefully it sticks around for a while now.
Anyway, I was noticing yesterday that the dust that gets kick up is really quite impressive. Granted, it's hell on your paint and it gets EVERYWHERE, but when everything around you is obscured by flying dirt, it's kinda cool. I couldn't see the mountains in any direction driving home yesterday.
However, I have noticed that intense weather of any sort brings out all the crazies. Some lady yesterday almost drilled me while she was making a right turn onto K. I had the green, my lights were on, and I drive a silver car, so I'm kinda hard to miss. I saw her look straight at me before making the turn with only 100 feet to go. I was on both my brakes and my horn, and it got to the point when I was tempted to go for my E-brake. Stupid twit....
I'm gonna go KotOR.
Later Days
-B

Check

2009-10-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

I was gonna put lyrics up here for the intro, but all I've been listening to is Armin Van Buuren's trance mixes, and most of those don't really have lyrics per se. Oh, no, wait. I've got one. Gimme a minute...
...
...
...
Here we go.
Something's Missing- John Mayer

"I'm not alone, I wish I was
'Cause then I'd know I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
At all

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is, no I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness
For loneliness like this

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends - check
Money - check
Well-slept - check
Opposite sex - check
Guitar - check
Microphone - check
Messages waiting on me when I come home - check

How come everything I think I need
Always comes with batteries?
What do you think it means?
How come everything I think I need..."

I think this one speaks for itself.

Outside of that, not a whole lot to report. Might be going up to Tahoe over the winter to go skiing. Which would be amazing. I've done Wrightwood, Mammoth and Bear Valley, but I've yet to ski Heavenly, which, or so I've heard, lives up to its name.

I finally got KotOR 2 to work, after about 3 hours of forum lurking, trying to figure out just why Vista hated it. Obviously it was cuz Vista hates everything, but it all came down to replacing a .dll file that irks all systems, and then getting a Vista-compatible .exe from the guys at Securom. It's still glitchy, but I suppose that comes with running Vista.

Umm, school's school. Got an anthro thing to do tomorrow, on top of finishing my take-home for math.

Still job-less, much of which is my own fault. I'm lazy; it happens.

Current iTunes music count; 11.97 gigs. Not a whole lot, but too much for my iPod. Oh well. I've learned to cycle.

Oh, and something to think about. In physics they tell us that everything displaces something else. If this is so then what exactly does your shadow displace?

Later Days
-B

Window

2009-10-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

Homecoming. It's tradition for all the alumni to come back, watch the field show and play with pep band during third quarter. It was fun and all, 'cause I got to play the Incredibles again, which made me happier than I've been in a long-o time(Jar Jar reference... it's okay). Everyone was there; John, Des, Erika, Smity, Jacob, Tiffany, Rachel, Patrick (who I still don't really know). And while it was fun seeing everyone again, it was a weird experience.
1. This was the first time I've had to pay to get into a football game. EVER. Bit of a strange feeling.
2. Being an ex-band kid, instead of just sitting and watching them play, which is what I shoulda done, I (with all the rest of the alumnis [Alumnus?]) sat and criticized, critiqued, and generally took apart the show bit by bit. And while I guess it is what we'd have done anyway if we were watching any band, it felt off somehow.
3. Sooooo many freshman. And I didn't know any of them. As Tiffany described it, it was awkward. To say the least.
4. I've been basically everywhere in that stadium at one point during my high school career. On the field, on the podiums, and in the stands, but that was to watch other bands. I've never been a spectator for QH. It was an interesting dynamic.

All and all, it felt like I was on the outside of it all, looking in. And growing farther away with each passing minute.
I'm gonna go play KotOR 2.
Later Days
-B

Stuck here

2009-10-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day - "Amsterdam" - Coldplay

Come on, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
If I, if I'd only waited
I'd not be stuck here in this hole

Come here, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear, I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole

But time is on your side, its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around
It's no cause for concern

Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

And time is on your side, its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around
No it's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach

You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
And you came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose

So I found the sheet music for this. Great song, fun chords, a bit repetitive, but overall, I approve.
My only problem stands as such; I can't sing. Not that I don't sing, it's just that I've no ear for singing. Ironic, huh?

Anyway, status report as of late.

School is boring.

Job search is... slow

People still irk me.

I saw a truck the other day... It had a turbo package and a hood scoop. Can anyone explain the logic of that to me? Please?

Ummm.... Visited the band the other day... Naturally, I got to sort out more drama. *sigh* Oh well. That's what I get for going back.

Saw The Informant! yesterday. Matt Damon amused me. Not as funny as I thought it was gonna be, but it was good. Next time, though, I think I'll let her pick the movie.

iTunes had this "Indie Spotlight Sampler" for download last week. I finally got around to listening to it. Pretty good.

The Circle in Space II is moving slowly... But it's moving.

Speaking of which, I think I'ma go work on that for a while.
Later Days
-B

Melted

2009-09-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day - Modest Mouse's "Dashboard"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1QqQ5KaNBU

Moral of the story, look on the bright side of things. Simple story, simple song, and yet a message that is not only rarely seen in today's mainstream music, and yet one that most people are simply choosing to ignore.
Current state of things;
A.)Yes, Iran has a nuclear plant, yes they've kept it in secret for years on end now, and yes, they're gonna keep BS'ing us till kingdom come. Know why? Because the rest of the world live in extravagance that very few can afford, (those who can generally don't deserve it), and, in short, we're resented for it. This is with good reason. We're killing ourselves dead with what we eat, giving ourselves many diseases that are avoidable with a simple lifestyle change, and are gonna wipe the planet clean in a short while if we keep on with our current attitudes.
B.)Healthcare is still the big debate in Washington and somehow, everyone is angry at it. PEOPLE!!!! The current system sucks as it is. Just because your touted doctors won't be able to drive Lexus's and BMW's anymore doesn't mean we have to change the system. Look at Europe. Yes, the government controls most of the public services, as well as healthcare, but the overall quality of life is better. Holland has a homeless-person-rate of less than 5%. That's quite impressive, if you ask me. Maybe a re-vamping of the system is required. What they're doing right now is necessary, yes, but not sufficient. We're gonna need to change, much more so than we are now. And yes, things are gonna suck, but you know what? "Well we coulda been, shoulda been, worse than you could ever know."

Hypothetical

2009-09-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

Subject is confused. The subject, after observation, has been determined to be a misanthrope. He dislikes most if not all of society, and is finding it harder to go through a day without another person making him angry. He no longer trusts most of society.
Hypothesis;
a.) The subject is rightly grounded in his assumptions about society, and that they cannot be trusted and are only out for themselves.
b.) The subject is only redirecting his own feeling about himself; he no longer trusts himself, and therefore is taking it out on those around him. The subject needs to learn to connect to more people, and perhaps the subject's outlook on life will change.

Thought, comments?
(Brought about by soul-searching after the most recent episode of House.)

Later Days
-B

Things people talk about while waiting for class.

2009-09-16T11:10:00.001-07:00

Today, while standing outside of the pool room waiting for Coach to unlock the door.

Him; (on phone) "No... wait, I don't know." *covers mic with hand* *to me* "Does concern have an 'e' at the end of it?"

Me; "What..? No, no 'e'"

Him; (back to phone) "No, don't put an 'e' on the end."

*Later* (trying to spell excuse) "E...x...u...c...e. No, that's not right."

Me; *Turns away, not wishing to lose any more brain cells.*

And I was trying really hard to not get mad at society before 8:00 today... Oh well.

Later Days
-B

Evolution

2009-08-31T21:14:00.000-07:00

First it was life
liberty
and property.

Then it was life
liberty
and the pursuit of happiness

Now it's life
control
and the increase of personal wealth.

It always was, is, and will be about the money.

Can we go back to #2?

Later Days
-B

Ready, set, wait

2009-08-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

"Gentlemen: Welcome to the first day of the Rest Of Our Lives."

I'll never forget watching "An Extremely Goofy Movie" for the first time, hearing that line, and thinking "I cannot wait for that day." Heeeeeere it comes! ...And theeeeeeeere it goes. Got back from History at t > 2.5 hours ago, hereby signaling the end of the first fay of the rest of my life.

It didn't feel right...

Mind you, it didn't feel wrong or anything. It just... didn't feel. I was so... complacent with it all, with the mediocrity. I sat in Calc, yeah, and snickered at the simplicity of the first day, fully knowing that it was only review. But I took my thrills where I could get them, marveling at the fact that the problems I'd done in the past had taken up entire sheets (and, sometimes, then some).

Point here is that I'd always told myself that I'd never, ever, EVER be going to AVC, that somehow I was better than that. Pfght.... Guess not, huh? And now it's another two years till I'm outta here.

Oh well... Make the best of it and all that jazz... At least I've learned to put up with it. Sorta.

Later Days
-B

Wow

2009-08-20T10:10:00.001-07:00

Oh, looky, it's changed again. Well done. Want a cookie, or a sticker? Shame, I've got neither. Oh well. So school starts in... 4 days? Yarp, in exactly 4*24 hours, I'll have just gotten back from my swim class and will be prepping for..... Math. Cool. I'm so ready. College is gonna mean so many things. New people, new thoughts, new ideas. Granted, no, I don't like people, but I've found that there are those among my generation that are looking for ways to change the world, to make this all better, and I'm looking for those people with open arms. So, aye, I'm ready to start schooling again. And le's face it; this semester's gonna be cake. Swimming-I've been doing such since forever ago. Calculus.... nearly the exact same thing. Granted, not for forever, but the past two years have felt like such. Anthropology-an intro to Pre-history. Yeaaaaah. Right. History-Colonial American to the present. It's taught be Cassady. That's gonna be amazing. History of Rock and Roll. Do you know just how awesome that class is gonna be?

On a side note, I've just found how amazing the band Amanda Palmer is. And that's where I got the new-and-improved title of all this from. So.... There ya go. Sitrep for the next few days.

Later Days
-B

When it makes little difference

2009-08-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

I just finished dinner, and on principle my family watches the news while we eat. Tonight's news program; World News with Charlie Gibson. The touted segment; "Making a Difference."
My main problem with it is thus; why should it be such a big deal that someone does the right thing? Why do we need to put this person up on a pedestal? Human beings are not inherently bad, we're inherently stupid and ignorant. But that shouldn't stop people from making the right choice; doing the right thing. What the HELL is wrong with society?

-Later Days
B

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

2009-07-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today's song (yes, I'm doing this again) Scenes From an Italian Restaurant- Billy Joel

So, back to the norm. Another rant. Again. I grow tired of these rants, and yet I persist... Stubborn nature? Too much grinding on MMO's? Pigheadedness cultivated by school? Pick one. I don't care which random adjective you use, really.
The folks are out watching Pirates 2 on Sci-Fi. I REFUSE TO SPELL IT THE NEW WAY! I mean, yeah, it makes sense that you can't copyright a genre, and I suppose even I've run into the roadblock that is trying to google (it's yelling at me for not putting "google" [did it again] in caps. Well, ya know what, bloggy thing? I don't care) a SCI-FI show and ending up with everything but the channel itself. Still though, it's the principle of the thing. They've sold out, because while it still sounds like the original, the new spelling allows them to "branch out" and run shows that are more "fantasy" and such. Granted, they were already running stuff like Ghost Hunters(I didn't buy that show for a minute), but even that used high-tech... stuff. This is probably just me refusing to accept change again (not the coins... I like that kind of change), but it feels good to just rant.

Later Days
-B

The Mountains Win Again

2009-07-17T21:12:00.000-07:00

So I know my usual post is a rant bashing society, or how much I've gone and screwed something up, but I'm gonna switch things up a bit....
As they say, music says what words cannot..... Well, lyrics are close, eh? So my great idea for the day is to smash together some words from a few of my favorites, and see what comes back.... Carry on.

I've come to find I may never know if a changing mind is a friend or foe.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You'll get no answer from me... brave enough to speak, afraid to see
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A pocket is no place for a smile anyway....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll stick around
See how bad it gets
I'll settle down and deal with old regrets
You know I, I adore you

I Can't let you go
Can't let you go
You're part of my soul
You're all that I know
I can't let you go

Is it better now
Do you feel like all is fair
Can we work it out
So that it's easier for me to bed
Because life, it can blind you

I Can't let you go
Can't let you go
You're part of my soul
You're all that I know
I can't let you go

Down from the edge I can see you where we end
And I'd give up all of my days to go back
There was all this wonder
And all this magic
Has all this wonder, over and done

If love were a whisper
What could I give you to speak
Maybe you're out of my reach

I can't let you go
Can't let you go
You're part of my soul
You're all that I know
I can't let you go
I can't let you go

You're part of my soul
You're all that I know
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can you feel the same
gotta love the pain
it looks like rain again
feel it comin' in
the mountains win again

Sheeple

2009-07-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

So, I think this comic (thanks XKCD, for what you do) says it all. The job hunt rolls on, and thanks to the thousands of job application forms, I've already fallen into the rut of mainstream America. Sure, there's a few people keeping me grounded in where I came from, and they're the same one keeping me pointed towards the (hopefully) bright future that everyone says is waiting for me after all this. But it does feel already like I'm going though the motions... fill out the paperwork, turn in the paperwork, go home, watch SGA, chat, get the email of rejection, stack home-generated angst on top of it.... Where's the excitement supposed to come after high school...?

Later Days
-B

Not overnight

2009-07-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Well, would you look at that. Huh... I'm gonna be 18 in less than a week. And yet, the only thing that changes is... I get to vote in the twisted mess that we call our "democratic" system... and I can get jury duty... Heh heh... Duty. This should be a big thing for me. I always though it would be. 'Course, this is the same me that though something would happen when I turned 16, too. THAT was a bit of a let-down. I guess what I'm saying is I wonder why we attach so much to certain ages... Why the rolling over of one specific date makes us that much different. Because wisdom, intelligence, common sense, those are gained over time, not overnight...

Later Days
-B

The Color of Life

2009-06-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

So I'm driving today, not really focused on anything in particular (that's how you're supposed to drive, right? Scanning?) and I look up at the purple sky, then back down to the tach and... Wait, what? Purple. It's only then that I realize; sunglasses, duh. They make everything all... funky. Then I start pondering thoughts that need to be pondered. And eventually, I get to my little issue with colors. See, if you didn't already know, I don't see colors the way everyone else does. Something in my eyes (suspected; the cones) didn't develop like everyone else's, and thusly my colors don't look like everyone else's.

You'll notice how I avoid saying, "the right way" or "normally," most likely due to the book I'm reading, which just further reinforces my views on society. Le's look at the semantics, shall we?

"Common sense"

–noun
sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence.

And yet, common sense is what told us to think Oh, sure, the sun HAS to revolve around the earth. Just look at it! I don't like it that people are judged based on what our little anthropcentric society's values have to say on the matter. We (as a society) have been wrong before. So I'll cut myself off before I build up too big of a head of steam and end with this; maybe I got lucky with my development, maybe everyone else got the short stick. Yes, it's probably too much to hope, but I get through my day, eh wot?

Later Days
-B

Turrets

2009-06-11T11:54:00.001-07:00

A thought I had whilst I was dusting my Lego Millennium Falcon; wouldn't the dorsal (top) quad turret just end up blowing off the sensor dish if the one in control wasn't paying enough attention? That would be really costly to replace every time someone had a lapse in attention during a firefight.... Anyway...

Later Days
-B

2009-06-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

You know, for such well designed little things, raspberries are squishy little buggers. All those subunits, each acting as a pressure point, a collapse area, if you will, seem like they'd make it easier for the raspberry to take damage. Nope. Impact one, and the whole thing goes all squishy on you.... Sorry. These are the things I think whilst I stare into my bowl of cereal.
Later Days

Fog

2009-06-02T20:26:00.001-07:00

So... Now what. We've done the whole "end" thing, but now it's all floating in the fog. Like the mist on Monterrey Bay in the morning (yeah, I've seen that, so quit complaining) the sheer lack of doing is nearly tangible. Me? I've been sitting in a semi-lethargic state for the last few days, chatting with people when I can, Facebook-ing when I can't. Seeing people when it's convenient for them (because I currently have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO) and just trying to cut through the fog of what to do. Excuse me while I go look for a lighthouse.
Later Days
-B

Hells yeah it's sexy...

2009-05-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

And it's mine. All mine.

So we're driving home from graduation last night, and the sibling unit hands me a gift bag. I reach in, not sure what to expect, and pull out a set of keys, with a giant "2009" keychain attached. The garage door opens, and there it is, in all it's shining glory, a practically reconditioned-to-brand-new 2005 Toyota Corolla, sexy rims and all. It's a sport package, so naturally it's got a leather wrapped steering wheel, and it's lowered slightly. The first thing I did.... I just sat in it. That's it. Didn't freak, didn't start it up. Just sat in it. Oh, specs. 4-cylinder in-line, 1.8 liter engine, manual transmission. Whee! Stick. Anyway, me and the paternal unit are driving to to Fullerton for my sister's band thing soon, so I should go get ready.

Later Days
-B

Endex

2009-05-23T10:58:00.001-07:00

Drop it.
Bury it.
Do something with all of this emotion
so that I won't end up cracking from the strain.
So many to let go.
Now one to cling to.
One to love.
Others to hold on to.
Some to forget.
Others to remember forever.

Game set
Match the symbols
Of care and the times
that we shared were too good
bye to some
will stay for a while
we wait for the sun to set
aside life and keep
us together as
we go our separate ways
to keep in contact
each other until the end
of the game.

A Cause

2009-05-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

The Band Banquet. Last year, a cause for celebration and happiness. This year, once again the same thing, yet not for me. It's all over, and this is just the universe's way of saying GTFO. It's been a bit a of a trip, and I'm not talking about the compy's and The Trip (caps). Band has, quite frankly, been my life for the past four years. I owe most if not all of what I built high school to be to band. Lemme illustrate this. Band--->Met Smity---->Introduced to the Circle---->Shenanigans---->Her (you know who you are)------>Drum Major----->Leadership/Public Speaking---->Today's Brendan. And I don't really think that's the worst of it. The whole kicker about all this is that everything I took for a constant in my life is slowly falling away. Band, IB, the Circle, school. All I've really got left is a select few people, my sax, and my music. I'm gonna go ponder this whilst finishing my stock market thing.
Later Days
-B

Status; Ded

2009-05-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

So today was decidedly better than yesterday. No, this isn't one of my emotional rants, not this time. Now it's about the fact that IB tests have made me fried and then some. And of course, this has seeped into the other areas of my life, particularly my typing, speaking, and saxophone-ing.

We're sitting in Wind Ensemble yesterday, and just let me set the scene for you. We're only at about three-quarters of our regular strength. We've got 3 of about our normal 6 flutes, 4 of five altos (which was okay, because I was there), and a general idea of "bleh." We start playing, and automatically, I can tell something's wrong. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO out of tune. So we tune and get back to playing. And now, my fingers aren't moving as fast as normal, so now my rhythms are off, I get completely disoriented, and drop out. The ensemble is collectively off at this point, and Mc.Q just cuts us off; we needed to start again. Twice. We've never had to do that. Ever. In the history of forever. Not fun. Not fun at all.

Later Days
-B

Grumble

2009-05-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

Just to be forewarned, the following is me going on a rant about last night's concert, so you might want to wait until the next installment. If not, well, read on.

So I get home today, and on mom's computer is the contents of her memory stick from her camera. Most importantly, it had video of the concert from last night. Naturally, my curiosity is piqued, and I watch the videos of my solos. (Yes, two of them.) I've once again come to the conclusion that I CANNOT STAND THE SOUND OF MYSELF PLAYING SAX! Seriously. I know that many musicians feel the same way, but I really don't think I sound all that great. And honestly, if you're reading this, you know I have an ego the size of Mount Everest when it comes to band stuff. I don't know. Maybe it's just the recording. Maybe it's my imagination. Either way, I need to get better.

Okay, I'm done.
Later days
-B

Weatherbeaten

2009-05-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

My hands are crackin'
The blood won't run
The ice will keep it all inside
All we got left is just to pray
The newest lines
Runnin' on my face have found their place to lay
And now I know
We can't stay here
We gotta move
So we can counter-stimulate

Marching into the syncopated cold
It's orchestrated to play till we give up
And just grow old
We'll continue our pursuit on through the snow
Weather beaten we keep on keepin' on
It's all we know
'Cause I can see the lighthouse
We can see the lighthouse

My skin is slackin'
The pigmentation
Provin' life is on the line
Change the diet to better play
These games
They really do you in
When you're makin' up
Your own rules
We're thrown the pitches that curve
But we'll stand up tall
And live intimidating life
The coast will clear up
The sun will beat down on our chest
And we'll win the right to
Help our friends
With more than two tied hands and cold feet
We'll stimulate

Marchin' into the syncopated cold
It's orchestrated to play till we give up
And just grow old
We'll continue our pursuit on through the snow
Weather beaten we keep on keepin' on
It's all we know
Stimulate
Marchin' into the syncopated cold
It's orchestrated to play till we give up
And just grow old
We'll continue our pursuit on through the snow
Weather beaten we keep on keepin' on
It's all we know
Weather beaten
Weather beaten
We keep on keepin' on
It's all we know
'Cause I can see the lighthouse
We can see the lighthouse
-The Republic Tigers

Music bubble prevails again. This time, not a shuffle experiment though.
Oh, explanation. Well, this is me feeling rather jaded by it all. The last four years of high school have de-sensitized me to everything. And yet, there's generally those one or two specific things that'll force us to keep on keepin' on. Because really, what else can we do?

Later Days
-B

How these things work out.

2009-05-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

It's funny, really. I've been self-analyzing again, if for nothing else than the sheer lack of ANYTHING better to do, and I've realized just how far into my music bubble I've just enable myself to retreat. Not to say that I'm gonna, just than it's funny how these things work out. My new headphones, (amazing sound by the way) can effectively cancel out everything around me. Example; this morning, one of the parental units decides that I need to get up (didn't see which one, did have head covered by pillow) and proceeds to open teh window. My response, as sun streams into room; grab headphones from hanging place above bed, and proceed to listen to Super Smash Bros. Brawl music. I don't hear anything until Dad decides to tap my shoulder to tell me breakfast is ready. I couldn't even hear Emma watching Fairly Odd Parents in the next room.

In other news, check this out.

Yes, it's really me playing, and no, I have no idea what to do about the sound quality. Enjoy.

Later Days
-B

2009-04-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day, as determined by mashing shuffle on the iTunes
"You Like Me Too Much" -The Beatles

Truth be told, I really should be studying. Or doing something at least semi-productive. But I'm just not feeling the urge. One of those Thursday things, probably. I do feel rather accomplished due to the fact that I managed to not failboat my piano video upload to youtube. Oh, right. Link.

I suppose I should at least touch on the state of the circle. Things seem, seem, to be back to normal, but as I said before, one never really can tell with the people I hang out with. We've settled into a kind of rhythm, and that's about all anyone can hope for, I think.

Other news.... DC IN 1.5 WEEKS!!!!! Honestly, I did not think that I would be this excited, but I really am. Spooky.
Umm, I get new headphones tomorrow. A pair of Panasonic RP-HTX7's, retro style, over the ear monitor, semi-sound canceling, bass-boosted headphones. Pretty sweet little piece of kit, if I do say so myself.

It's kinda sad, though. Drum Major tryouts were yesterday. No, I'm not really allowed to divulge anything, so don't ask, but It does bring something to mind in crystal clarity; I'm on my way out. This trip is gonna be my final action as Drum Major. And while I am ready to move on from high school, the band is still gonna be hard to tear myself away from. Granted, I'll be back to visit and all that jazz, but this is basically my last hurrah as far as marching is concerned. So, while I'll be bowing out to thunderous applause (hopefully), I won't be going down without the obligitory blaze of glory. And honestly, who's surprised, eh?

Later Days
-B

A Long Song

2009-04-27T16:55:00.001-07:00

So... so so so... Not a whole heck of a lot to be said right now. Things are quiet. Depressingly so, but I imagine that this is part of the whole debacle (fun word)(Sorry. Not really the time for jokes, is it?) Oh the hell with it. Yes it is. We've come this far, there's no reason, legit or otherwise, for things to end up like this. I've kinda already done a "thank you" post, so with the threat of sounding repetitive looming over my shoulder, I will thank all those who got us said thus far. It's been fun, rocky, smooth (starting to sound like ice cream), and well, blast it all, we are a family. Yes, I have indeed sat in my music bubble for about half of the past month, but it's 'cause (I use apostrophes, deal with it) I figured that it would hurt us as a whole than anything else, it's been shafted aside. In the immortal words of the group Jethro Tull (yeah, not just a person) "life's a long song." We're all gonna get a solo eventually, and let's face it; the tune ends too soon for us all. So let's make the best of it, eh?

A personal aside.
Despite what may have transpired between us, I still care about you. While I may have screwed things up, or circumstance happened to decide to intervene, fundamentally, nothing really changed. So thank you. I mean that.

Later Days
-B

Returning to normal

2009-04-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

Well, can't say I wasn't partially to blame for all the stuff that's happened recently. I think between the multiple discussions I've had with a few people, it's safe to say I was at least the catalyst that triggered the realization that the end is nigh, and that we're all about to go our separate ways.
On a side note, I suppose my posts have been rather cryptic of late, so I'll be as blunt as possible, because it would appear that I don't do subtle all that well.
Math at Woody's today was awkward. Very much so, and I don't think there's anything anyone can do to resolve that right now. On the other hand, I now have the FFVII Crisis Core soundtrack, and have been listening to it non-stop.
No, I don't have any idea when this is all gonna blow over, and yes, I do want it to be soon. The last thing I'd want to come from all this is for the Circle to split feeling angry towards one another. So, I'll do what I can.
-Later Days
B.

...

2009-04-07T16:53:00.000-07:00

"In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows."
-And So It Goes
Billy Joel

I need out.
I don't care where to.
I just need out of this place
been trapped here for long,
longer than is healthy,
longer than ever intended.

I've become too comfortable with people
too comfortable with those I love,
too comfortable with those I detest.
Way too sure of of my position.
Way too sure of what my capabilities.

I wonder.... where am I headed?
Where will happiness be found?
'Cause it sure as hell isn't here.

Tell Me

2009-03-30T18:57:00.001-07:00

where to go when the rain starts to fall

who to turn to when nothing makes sense

when to change, to make the best of things

who to hold to make it go away

tell me....

who have I become?

Status Report

2009-03-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Why yes Woody, I have indeed stoled your idea. And yes, I did indeed just type "stoled"

Current summary and susequent song count of soundtracks in mah iTunes

Star Wars;

9 albums,
12 songs

Video Games

The Black Mages (FF any of them); 1 song
Super Mario 64; 4 songs
Mario Kart; 1 song
Super Mario Bros.; 3 songs
Tetris; 2 songs
Super Smash Bros. Melee; 15
The World Ends With You; 42 songs
Soul Calibur 2; 28 songs
SSX Blur; 15 songs

Assorted "other" Movies

Pirates of the Carribean 1; 15 songs
Pirates of the Carribean 2; 12 songs
Pirates of the Carribean 3; 13 songs
Indiana Jones; 1 song
The Incredibles; 19 songs
Finding Nemo; 40 songs
Top Gun; 1 song
Meet the Robinsons; 1 song
Wall*E; 1 song
Tarzan; 1 song

Anything not Really All that Sort-able

A Charlie Brown Christmas; 2 songs
Cirque du Soleil; 5 albums, 66 songs

Grand Totals

33 Albums
293 Songs

Current Video Game

The World Ends With You

Other Side Games

FF VII; Crisis Core
Perfect World International
FF III
Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Current Musical Obsession

Gorillaz (again)

Current "Hatehatehate" item

IB Music Essay

School= Pshhhhhh

Current WTF item

Prom

To-Do list;

Buy new headphones
Buy new game (not sure which one yet)
Level archer
IB Music Essay
IB Music Recording
...
...
...
...
Find motivation for productivity
?
?
profit?

Systems summary; everything normal... nothing new, and sooooooo bored

Trapped

2009-03-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

By my own doing, mind you. Oh, and by the way, I'm back. I figured, this one is the one that few people know about, and therefore, allows me to put stuff of a slightly more... sensitive nature.

It's become clear to me now that I have become, well, rather useless to most of my friends/acquaintances/family. Granted, I've used high school to allow my normal (normal here having the meaning of "weird") half out in the open, but that also means that I've allowed people to know the side of me that was locked up for a reason.
The side that allows for connections, for emotional attachments, so that when society does its standard crappy-ass move to strip that all away, I'm left high and dry to roast. Take, for example, last year's, junior year's, debacle, or drama, whichever you prefer, over my desire for a... shall we say, inter-circle relationship. Pshhh, that went well. Or the fact that high school is nearly over now, and everyone's leaving, and I get left behind to suffer through another two years in the blasted AV.
Maybe this is me kicking myself for letting things get this far, or perhaps at myself for not pushing myself further so I could get the hell out, or perhaps rage at the fact that I'm being left in the dust.
Either way, this is the mood that has pervaded by mind for about the last three weeks, and'll probably persist through the next couple of months. So... now you don't have to ask next week why I'm in my music bubble. Thusly, I'vejust found a new, free bit of electronica, and off we go.
-Later Days

Just in case

2008-09-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

You havn't figured out yet, i've moved to a new site, primarily cuz msn givz me more opshuns. Anywho, if ur interested, i iz now at http://bag-man.spaces.live.com/. Tally ho

Please work...

2008-06-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, if this one doesn't work, i think I'm giving up.

oops

2008-06-19T10:02:00.001-07:00

okay, that last one didn't work. I'll let you know when I can figure it out

All I can say is...

2008-06-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO

and

Found these Incredibly Epic

2008-06-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

Excuses for showing up late to work
1. While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog.
2. Someone stole all my daffodils.
3. I had to go audition for American Idol.
4. My ex-husband stole my car so I couldn't drive to work.
5. My route to work was shut down by a presidential motorcade.
6. I have transient amnesia and couldn't remember my job.
7. I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
8. The line was too long at Starbucks.
9. I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
10. I didn't have money for gas because all of the pawnshops were closed.
Lols
-Cheers

Brain=Cobwebby

2008-06-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? A long while. I've gotten tired of Mario Galaxy already, and I think I'm gonna get back to working on the circle story. Oh, and just for the record, (those of you that have read it) I'm going to be going back and adding little asides, just to explain things, flesh it out a bit.
So despite the total lack of games to play, I'm still hanging out on Pirates Online. Oh well. Maybe I'll play KotOR again...
-Later Days...

After you, Madam...

2008-05-26T15:02:00.001-07:00

OK, I've been wondering; what ever happened to chivalry? And yeah, you'll laugh, but I think it made sense. And no, I'm not going on a feminist rampage. Seriously, let's think about this for a sec...
For the guys;
Fellas, you let the lady go first, you elevate her on a friggin' pedestal, you score major points. Major. Points. And you feel better later, knowing you've done something that hasn't been for yourself. (Wow, I've just noticed how lame this is starting to sound...)
For the ladies;
You can't tell me that you don't enjoy all the special treatment and being put first? Come on...

But seriously, what happened to the "Riding-around-in-armor-slaying-dragon-kinda-day" of old? I'm with Woody on the whole anachronistic bit. 'Cept for me, it'd be more 16th century kind of rebirth. I mean, I'm all for 60's pop culture, but the Medieval Times (no, not the restaurant) seem like a whole lot of fun.

And now I'm off on my noble steed to go... Write a ToK essay.
Tally ho!!!!!!!!!!
-Cheers

Indy, friends, and a whole lotta awesome

2008-05-24T15:20:00.000-07:00

So yeah, if you've read everyone else's blogs, (adressing the circle and tangents) you've probabley noticed a great deal of awesome going around. Don't ask me why, you're gonna need to go to Sara for the whole story.
So anyway, I just got back from being camaraman at Mia's for a french project. And no, before you ask, I'm not in french. I was just the only person on-call that had a camara. So it was basically just Me, Mia, and Caitlin being random and eating pizza and (for them) speaking french badly.
Speaking of which, I'm still not sure what's going on between me and her. Truth be told, I would love for something to happen, epecially since the year is almost over. But, in a completely unintentional segway, I have evidence. Last night at the movies, whilst watching "Indiana Jones and the Kindom of the Crystal Skull" (a movie of epic proportions) there was a scene with fire ants. And not your average, run-of-the-mill fire ants, no. These were as big as your thumb. And hungry. Think the Mummy, you know with the scarabs? Now replace those scarabs with the aforementioned fire ants, and you get the scene I'm talking about. Now, Caitlin wasn't big on the ants (I wasn't too happy either) but she jumped for my arm. Yays.
Cheers

Forward, march!

2008-05-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Today was fun. I guess. If you call marching 2-and-some-odd miles in the 90-ish degree weather to raise AIDS awareness fun. Aw well,At least I got some good pictures.

You know, it's kinda funny. Pretty much the only reason I said I was going was because she was going. And now that I'm being ignored, well, I was basically there for CAS hours. *sighs*

I need to finish my journal project. I'm going to a party in a couple hours and this needs to get done.

School

2008-05-16T17:01:00.000-07:00

And so our English teacher's got us doing a *shudder* journal project. It's supposed to *shudder shudder* express our relationship with our journal. Bull. This is just so we don't have a grand total of only twenty grades in the book. Because, let's face it, no one really did those journals because they wanted to (and if you know me and you're reading this, you knwo what I'm talking about), but because it was for a grade. I, personally, only wrote about a quarter page each day; she wanted a full page and then some. Uh, no. Don't think so. I don't write. Except on here...... Riiiigggghhhhhtttt. I'm gonna go puzzle this out by myself.

Shouldn't there be fireworks......?

2008-05-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

......or at least a brass band playing Dixieland or something? Something to celebrate my momentous first post. Ah well, you can't have everything. Beggars can't be choosers, or choosers can't be beggars, or something to that extent.

Anyway, I put this in my journal in English, and I think the same thing applies to this; if you're reading this, don't expect any coherence. I ramble. Copiously. My friends can attest to this fact. Stuff will just pop up at random.

Ugh, it's been a long week. And technically, it's not even over yet. Well, at least we're nearing the end of the year. And yet, the homework keeps piling up and up and up... Isn't it supposed to get easier as the year winds down. And speaking of homework, I've got a math project due tomorrow. Back to work.